Breaking Away

The following poem was written several years ago while on the eighth floor of the Karmanos Cancer Center. My husband, afflicted with Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma, lay in the hospital bed. I sat looking out the window at the people walking by, busy with their lives, running here and there.

I watched a bird pump hard to lift off the ground then rise in flight, and this poem came to me as I watched it soar above the ground. I hope it is a blessing to you.

"Breaking Away"
March 14, 1997

Breaking away from the earth
Soaring high above
Looking down on the world that's kept me bound
As I fly on the wings of God's love

The effort exerted to break free
Is the most difficult part of the flight
But then I glide on invisible currents
That lift me from height to height

Carry me, Oh Wind of God
High above this land
That I might see a new perspective
And understand your plan

Then return me safely back to Earth
To use the lessons learned
And share the visions You impart
With those who wait for Your return

Castles of Sand and Stone

Thank you for indulging me in a poetic muse...the result of two trips: one to a Cape Cod beach and a second to Switzerland's Chateau de Chillon made famous by Lord Byron's poem, The Prisoner of Chillon.

Ocean greeted coast with noisy kisses
then dashed away, a shy lover
withdrawing from sandy cheek
into a crowd of waves and priestly rocks
escaping into the blue horizon

Low tide’s receding waves sculpted the shore—
damp dunes and sparkling pools
plumed with festive sprays of seaweed
and a garland of my footprints
draped indifferently across the sand

Meandering, humming, I drifted
wandering the shoreline expanse
until a collapsing sand castle
invited me to linger,
to remember a castle far away

A massive citadel by the sea
robed in ancient stone
capped in peaks and towers
she gazed across a shining glass lake
to majestic, snow-topped alps

Haunted by lives that once filled her halls
her rooms remembered
the births, banquets, battles and blood:
the price paid for her incarnation
the wars waged to keep her

Where royalty once dwelt
now a tourist booth stands
Cross the moat on her drawbridge
Gain entrance inside her once-guarded gates—
for a sum of Swiss francs

Centuries have come and gone at her doors:
years compiled of days
days made up of moments
filled with the living and passing of life
its joys and its sorrows

One castle made of sand
One of stone
The glory of each eroded
by time and circumstance
centuries and purpose

Song spilled out once more
Words replayed in mind
as Truth resounded in spirit
The tune I breathed on the beach I walked
I once sang in castle walls

Kings and kingdoms all pass away…
Kings and kingdoms all pass away…
And yet, God’s kingdom remains
How insignificant man’s trials and triumphs
How magnificent omniscient God.

And I heard as it were the voice of a great multitude, and as the voice of many waters, and as the voice of mighty thunderings saying, Alleluia: for the Lord God Omnipotent reigneth. [Revelation 19:6]

Learning to be a Princess

Growing up, I didn’t know I was a princess. I was 21 years old before I discovered the truth – I am a member of the royal family.

All those long years, I felt unloved and unwanted which severely affected my self-esteem. I entered adulthood with skewed perceptions: believing I wasn’t anyone special – just one of the middle children in a poor, rural family. Part of a nondescript amalgamation forged in the crucible of a young woman’s unwanted pregnancy that dissipated in a bad divorce when I was eleven years old.

The new “moms” and “dads” the years brought into my life (and there were several)—they didn’t know I was a princess either. They couldn’t have, or they would have treated me differently, I’m sure. If they’d only known a King’s daughter was in their care, perhaps a different story might have played out.

My age has more than doubled since the fateful day of my discovery. I write of the event on the evening of my 43rd birthday – a happy day spent with my husband, children and friends, concluded around a laughter-filled table with a cupcake-shaped balloon floating over my head. Sitting in the restaurant, my thoughts wondered back to earlier times.

Even though I hadn’t known Him yet, I realized the King had always watched over me. He saw my times of loneliness. He watched when I suffered disappointments and pain. He knew my desperation and observed my fearful flailing when I was a young child drowning – suffocating beneath lake waters before strong hands pulled me from certain death. And then the frantic splashing and beating against life itself as I grew up and began drowning in seas of different sorts.

But all that changed one fall day in 1987.

I always loved my Daddy. We didn’t spend a lot of time together, he often hid out in his workshop and wore its fragrance of sawdust and oil. Bobby Eudell was a good, kind man joined with my mother to bring a new life into the world. March 6 I was born a member of the Yates family, but when I was 21, I discovered my Father, the One who gave me life, was the King of all.

And He wanted me. He still does. Really. He says my life has value and purpose…and not just in the things I do for Him…but because I am His.

Even after learning I was a princess, I still fought the feelings I’d grown up with: undesired and undesirable. A lifetime of programming refused to give way to a new paradigm without time and adjustment. Twenty-two years later, I give thanks to God for gently aligning my malformed thought life to my life’s reality. He took what was (the past that shaped me) and changed it into what is (my present and future with Him).

The seasons and events of my youth are still part of who I am – a backdrop providing high contrast to the joy God has given me in recent years. I liken my past to a black velvet display in a jeweler’s showroom that highlights the brilliance of dazzling gemstones. Diamonds that formed beneath the soil, were mined, polished and shaped, then set and displayed. A diamond's many different facets, created by the pressure of the earth upon dark coal, remind me of how God uses our different life situations to create planes in our lives that reflect new qualities revealed or learned through the living of each experience.

One family night, my kids borrowed a DVD from the library. We plugged into our TV Guardian-filtered player and watched “Princess Diaries” – a cute movie for the most part. The heroin lifted from an obscure nerdiness transformed over time into a beautiful, competent ruler. Under the tutelage of the queen, awkwardness gave way to elegance. Indecisiveness yielded to bold decision-making birthed in compassion and the realization that her position provided the opportunity for her to make a difference in the lives of those in her realm. Beyond learning she was a princess, she learned to be a princess, living out her calling to her kingdom for her time and purpose.

If the Lord should mercifully give me another 22 years on this earth, I pray I will be kingdom-minded as well, living out in my time His purpose for my life. On a deeper level, I desire to see my focus shift from serving Him to simply being His. It’s the result of an intimate relationship that brings true fruitfulness and new life.

I am a princess. I am His.

Are you MAD?

I hope you are!

Thursday evenings in January I had the privilege of participating in Nightwatch prayer. Joining Christians from the Midwest and Southwest via conference call, a group of people united to intercede for our nation from midnight - 6:00 a.m. EST.

One of the nights I was on the prayer line, I realized I was feeling angry . . . angry at the way I and others have been robbed by spiritual deception and oppression. Angry that so many abortions have taken place in our land. Angry that truth is mocked and rebellion uplifted as the "American way."

As I thought about these things, the word mad came to mind, and with it an acronym: Making A Difference.

It's ok to get mad, as long as we use that "MADness" to Make A Difference, and we can:

* through prayer
* through our lifestyle choices
(personal consecration to purity that draws us close to God and
witnesses to others)
* through involvement in our churches, schools and communities, etc.

So, if you're mad, like me, I hope you'll choose to make a difference in your circle of influence. And we can all make a difference through prayer.

For more information on how you can get involved in prayer, visit my National Day of Prayer blog at www.ndpdetroitmetro.blogspot.com

Have a Joy Full Christmas

Rejoice, rejoice, Emmanuel has come to thee . . .
During the holidays we read and hear words like "joyful" and "rejoice" on cards and in carols. These words have been replaying in my mind over the last few days, but in different forms. Instead of “joyful,” I’ve been meditating on "joy full" – as in being full of joy. When I hear or read “rejoice,” I think "re - joy" – as in having joy again.

Tidings of comfort and joy . . .
Before receiving the baby Jesus in her womb, Mary responded to Gabriel, "My spirit hath rejoiced in God my Savior." [Luke 1:47]

Joyful, all ye nations rise . . .
When the wise men from the East saw the star directing them to Jesus, they “rejoiced with exceeding great joy.” [Matthew 2:10]

Joy to the world, the Lord is come . . .
Jesus said in John 15:11, "these things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full." The joy of Jesus is the joy that remains for us today.

The weary world rejoices . . .
God is with us, our Emmanuel. “The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in him, and I am helped: therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; and with my song will I praise him.” [Psalms 28:7]

Joyful and triumphant . . .
Have you ever wondered, “What gives Jesus joy?” Scripture shares in Luke 10:21 that Jesus was joyful when His disciples returned from going out in the land ministering in the power and authority of His name.

As we shop, wrap, bake and commemorate the birth of Jesus this Christmas season, I write these things unto you that your joy may be full . . . full of the abiding joy of Jesus. And may we give joy in return to the Lord by ministering to those around us -- reaching out in His name with a helping hand, an encouraging word, an impacting prayer.

* * *
Good Christian men rejoice . . .
Holidays magnify emotions – positive and negative. If you or someone you know is struggling to find joy, I encourage you to spend some time thinking about the Lord. Before Mary rejoiced, she said, “My soul doth magnify the Lord.” Sure, easy for her to say, right? She just had an angelic visitor and the best news ever. But with Mary’s acceptance of the Christ child in her womb, she faced the hardship, rejection and ridicule of becoming an unwed mother in her day. It was a mixed blessing, we might say, yet she chose to be joyful.

When we magnify the Lord, looking to God’s Word, His character, His faithfulness, His provision, His power, His friendship, His sacrifice, His great love . . . I believe we will find the joy of the Lord. God is our strength and shield. Our hearts safely trust in Him and we are helped; therefore, we can greatly rejoice.

If you had joy once, you can “re-joy” again. If you just have a little joy tucked away in the corner of your soul, I pray that your joy may be full as you magnify the Lord with me. He is great! He is mighty! He’s an awesome God! He’s worthy of our praise and He is our exceeding great reward!

Have a joy-full Christmas!

Fireflies, Glow Worms and Smudged Jelly Jars

Ruminating. That's what I've been doing all day. Thinking about the concept "Message in a Bottle."

The theme for this new project, We . . . are like fragile . . . jars . . . containing . . . great treasure [2 Corinthians 4:7 NLT], is preceded in Scripture with these words from verse 6 identifying the treasure:

For God . . . made His light shine in our hearts . . .

The treasure is God in us!

Did you ever spend a summer evening catching fireflies? Years ago my sisters and I crept around the yard scooping up what we called "lightning bugs." After each hunt, we sat on the porch steps entertained by the activity in our homemade lanterns.

We were looking at the jars, but our focus was not on the glass in our hands. No, our eyes were fixed on the contents. We watched the bugs ~ crawling, flickering, fluttering ~ mesmerized by the light show they created in the dark Kentucky nights.

I want God's light to shine through me just like the fireflies flashing behind the glass in those old jelly jars. The Light's in my heart. Verse 6 said so!

A dear Christian lady reminded me this morning that what we begin in the Spirit, we cannot finish in the flesh, and I wholeheartedly agree. I've come to understand that I will never be all I can be spiritually until I fully accept my humanity: my strengths and my shortcomings, my gifts and my guffaws, my talents and my torments.

I will fail. I will disappoint others. I will disappoint myself more than anyone else. But I have a great hope! Smudged and marred, maybe even cracked or chipped, my "vessel" still carries a pure message ~ the gospel message of salvation through Jesus Christ. When I notice my "container" needs some maintenance, I pray I will have the humility and strength to turn to God for cleansing and repairs. The world around me will see more of God in me when I submit to His restorative work in my life.

Thank God for the words of verse 1 of this same chapter [2 Corinthians 4] that give me the confidence I need, regardless of my limitations, to pursue my dreams for Affirming Faith: Therefore, since through God's mercy we have this ministry, we do not lose heart.

I could easily get discouraged if I focused on my failures. Why would anyone listen to me? Why would God want to use me?

And on days when the adrenalin is running high and my snowball is successfully rolling downhill gaining size and momentum, it would be just as easy to tilt in the opposite direction. Crediting my own hard work and abilities instead of acknowledging God's grace and goodness would be a big mistake. Finding the right balance between "I can do all things through Christ" [Philippians 4:13] and "apart from me you can do nothing" [John 15:5] is key.

Looking through the pages of the old church song books, we find many hymnwriters refer to human beings as "worms." That's not a popular concept in our "it's all about me" society.

Mankind is the highest life form, loaded with potential and value and created in the very image of God, but in comparison to the Lord, the worm metaphor is a fair appraisal of the human condition. I know I've experienced days when I felt lower than Walt's nightcrawlers, but I recently heard a speaker say, "We're all worms. Be a GLOW WORM!"

And as my Daddy used to sing in mellow baritone accompanied by finger picking on his acoustic guitar, "Glow, little glow worm . . . glimmer, glimmer!"